A Dollar Fifty Seven
by Mystic-Pickle
Summary: Edward Elric is behaving strangely and Roy Mustang can't help but wonder why. Fraternal!RoyXEd
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

_Chapter #1_

"A dislocated shoulder, a mild concussion, a broken leg, and a broken nose," Mustang read off the paper before looking up at Edward who was sitting on the couch before him, shifting as though in discomfort. "Fullmetal, I'm very curious to know what exactly caused you to assault and cause this much damage to a mere pickpocket. Would you happen to be kind enough to explain?"

Golden eyes flicked over to him briefly but quickly darted back down to their owner's hands. Ed was fiddling with his gloves. He was obviously uneasy and slightly anxious about the whole situation. The blond licked his lips before he answered.

"Well, he was trying to steal my wallet. What was I supposed to do? Let him have it? I don't see what the big deal is."

The colonel resisted the urge to massage his temples to relieve the headache that was beginning to form. Of course, Edward did go overboard on most occasions but to go this far for some measly, insignificant thief… It was stupid, pointless and un-Edward-like. Roy knew for a fact that both of the Elric brothers were softhearted, even though the elder of the two hid it sometimes. And the way Ed was reacting to the whole situation seemed off too.

"The 'big deal' is the fact that you completely beat the living snot out of a smalltime thief," Roy said with a sigh. "Yes, he is a criminal but I don't think he really deserved the beating you gave him. Was that honestly necessary?"

"I've already told you," the blond responded, beginning to sound exasperated. "He was trying to steal my wallet. I don't know what else you want me to say, Mustang. That I'm sorry? So I went a bit too far. Oops! There isn't anything I can do about it now."

"Well, an apology might be a good start. Admittedly, you did over react," the man said.

Edward let out a long sigh, sinking into his seat a little. "Okay. Sorry. Can I go now?"

"Of course not. Firstly, I'm not done this paperwork which _you_ are the cause of. And secondly, you haven't given me any facts."

The blond pouted a little, sinking lower into his seat.

Mustang signed a few documents before looking up at the young alchemist again. "So, just how much money is in your wallet anyway?"

"A dollar fifty seven," Ed responded automatically, looking over at him with a slightly confused expression. "Why?"

Roy looked up at the youth, eyebrows shooting up. He couldn't help it. The boy was making all this fuss over spare change?

"A dollar fifty seven, Fullmetal? _A dollar fifty seven?_"

"Yeah. So?" Ed said, still not making the connection.

"You tossed around a pickpocket for a dollar fifty seven," the man clarified.

Now, by anyone's standards, that was by all means unnecessary, pointless, and maybe just a little cruel. And it made the colonel think. Edward couldn't have been that worried about such a small amount of money. He didn't seem to be the type to worry about that type of thing at all. In fact, Mustang was sure Alphonse had been complaining about how Ed had forgotten his wallet in their room earlier that week.

"Well…" Ed started, his face going red. A sure sign that something wasn't quite right. "Well, I needed the money. I was going to use it to buy milk."

Roy couldn't resist. "That's obviously a lie, Fullmetal. You hate milk."

"Uh… It's not for me!" the blond said quickly, trying to correct himself. "It's… It's for Al! He's got a kitten, see? And we can't starve the poor thing."

"I thought you didn't let him keep any cats," Roy continued. "And you know that cats don't just survive on milk, right?"

Mustang had seen Edward blush before on a few occasions other than this one, but he'd never seen the youth's face so red! He looked something close to a tomato.

"Well, whatever! Why the fuck do you care anyway?!" the blond snapped, raising his voice to the point where he was nearly yelling. "It's my wallet and my money and maybe it really pisses me off that a thief was trying to steal it! So why don't you just fuck off, Mustang?!"

"Enough, Fullmetal. Settle down," Roy began. Ed seethed but surprisingly he remained silent and didn't make a run for the door. Yet. "I understand that it's your wallet and that you don't want it stolen but I'm just wondering as to why you were so rough on the thief."

"_Because-I-didn't-want-my-wallet-to-be-stolen-you-fucking-moron_," Ed ground out in a low tone.

"Is that really enough of an excuse? There's no other reason?"

"No! Of course there's no other reason! What other reason could there _be_?! Piss off! Just leave me _alone_!"

That seemed to be that last straw for Edward. The youth got up and bolted, flinging the door open and disappearing from Roy's sight.

_To be continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Also, I would like to thank all my readers and reviewers for...well, reading and reviewing. ^_^

And sorry. I intended to update sooner but my internet went down for an excruciatingly painful amount of time.

_Chapter #2_

Roy pushed the hospital doors open and briskly walked across the entry way. His boot heels clicked along the polished floor. He smiled warmly at the people whose heads turned as he passed. He knew he cut a dashing figure in his uniform from the way the ladies blushed and the men tipped their hats. He made his way to the information desk and the pretty, dark haired, young clerk behind it.

"Good afternoon, Colonel Mustang, sir," she said smiling sweetly. "Are you here to visit one of your subordinates?"

Mustang laughed good-naturedly. By one of his subordinates she meant Edward. He wound up here so much that Roy should know the names of every doctor and nurse in the place. Unfortunately he never had a head for that sort of thing and silently thanked the person who came up with the idea of name tags.

"Not today, Penelope," he said reading hers.

She beamed at him, delighted at being 'remembered'.

"I'm looking for the room of Doyle Williams," he said. He'd gotten the name of the thief off the report Hughes sent him this morning and been excused temporarily from his regular duties by telling Lieutenant Hawkeye that he wanted to question this thief personally.

Which was true but it was also a perfect excuse to take some time out of the office.

Roy watched the clerk as she checked the directory wondering if he should just stand and chat with her for a bit.

"Room 352," she said handing him a slip of paper with the number written on it.

"Thank you," Roy said taking it from her and making sure his fingers touched hers.

"You're welcome," she answered blushing slightly just as an elderly couple approached the desk for help.

Roy took that as he cue to leave. He walked over to the elevators making a mental note to stop by the desk again on his way out. He could ask Penelope the time and check that his watch was keeping the right time. The State Alchemist watch always impressed them.

The elevators doors opened and he got on humming as he rode up to the third floor. He considered Doyle Williams – the pickpocket who had attempted and failed to steal a dollar fifty seven from Edward and had suffered for it. Maybe Ed had done the world a favor and the poor sod would forever be an honest citizen once he was back on the streets.

Leaving the elevator and looking down the hallway it was easy to see which room was 352. There was an MP standing outside. When he approached the man stood at attention and saluted. Roy opened the door and stepped inside.

Another military officer standing guard over the prisoner had been sitting on a chair next to the bed. He stood up abruptly heels clicking together and saluted Roy. "Colonel, sir!"

"Good afternoon," Roy answered returning his salute. "At ease. I've just come to ask the prisoner a few questions." He turned his attention to the man in the bed as he crossed the room.

Doyle was straggly and pug faced with shaggy brown hair. He looked to be in pretty rough shape. His left leg was casted and elevated. His right arm and head were bandaged. His face was badly bruised and one eye was black. He reminded Mustang immediately of some nervous stray dog that had lost a fight and been kicked a few times. He almost felt sorry for him. He doubted that even in his prime he would've been a match for Fullmetal.

He seemed anxious with the colonel in the room and fidgeted a little with his good hand that was handcuffed to the bed.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Williams."

The prisoner looked uncomfortably at Roy. He sat up in his bed a little straighter, the handcuff he was wearing jingled. "Good afternoon," he answered nervously. "Who are you?"

"Colonel Roy Mustang, otherwise known as the Flame Alchemist," Roy answered puffing up a bit as the man's eyes got wider. He always enjoyed introducing himself. He never failed to get a reaction. "I've come to find out exactly what happened the other day."

"I already told an officer what happened," Doyle said narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "He said he would put it into a report."

"Well, let's just pretend I didn't read the report," Mustang answered smoothly. "The youth involved in the crime you perpetrated was my subordinate, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. I'm doing my duty as his superior officer."

"The kid's lying!" the man suddenly exclaimed passionately. "I don't care who he is or what he says! I didn't perpetrate him! I have morals!"

Surprised, Mustang blinked at him, confused.

"You deny attempting to steal his wallet?" he asked. Hawkeye had told him it was an open and shut case the man had already confessed.

"No, of course not!" Doyle answered. "A man's got to make a living."

"Then I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying," Roy admitted.

"I mean it wasn't like_he_ said. I wasn't groping him. You know – touching him for _sexual _reasons," the man said with evident disgust.

Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"Fullmetal thought you were groping him?" the colonel asked in disbelief.

The man suddenly seemed uncomfortable.

"Well yeah, he was going on about it when he was smacking me around… But I didn't!" the man said emphatically. "I may have touched his backside but if I did - it was only because I was trying to get his wallet in his back pocket, I tell you! I have morals! Standards! I sure wouldn't get my jollies feeling up some little kid's bum!"

Roy had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing out loud.

"I understand," he stated when he was sure he could stay serious.

"I just don't want to get shit on by you military dogs for something I didn't do!" the prisoner exclaimed.

"Of course," Roy said. "I just wanted to make sure there was nothing to add to the report."

"So that's it then?" Doyle asked suspiciously.

"Yes, I think so," Mustang agreed sure that he had his answer. The misunderstanding was more than likely what Edward had been hiding.

He turned towards the door. "I'll be returning to headquarters then. Good-bye Mr. Williams. Officer," He said nodding to both of them and headed out into the busy hallway.

Roy had to smile to himself as he waited for the elevator.

No wonder Edward had been so uncomfortable with the situation. Being a hormonal teenager he'd thought that the man's intentions were sexual. He remembered being that age – sex was never very far from his mind. He'd just been embarrassed about his error and wanted to keep it to himself.

Well Roy wasn't unreasonable. His curiosity was satisfied and he had an afternoon off work. He could let Ed keep his little 'secret'. Now it was time to head back to the information desk.

_To be continued…_


End file.
